The following is a poem in memory of a friend that I recently lost. May you find more peace in the ether than you did down here, young soul.
Timid, was your heart,
in its quest to find some love.
Broken, was your spirit,
when it found nowhere to run.
Happy, floating, calm, and caring;
words to describe the boy that you were then.
Hurt, lost, alone, and scared;
words to describe the boy you have now become.
The darkness that lingers within the confines of our hearts,
need us to know how to tear it apart;
but our frightened attempts to break free from its hold,
can’t ever translate, the helplessness of the spirit, or the bite of its cold.
If only a day before, I knew what I know now,
and a day before, I had reached out to you, how–
a difference I would have made, how–
a life I would have saved.
If only a day before, I knew.
There are no words to describe the gravity of shock,
on the faces of your family,
as they try to make sense of their spinning heads,
in the aftermath of all the secrets that you kept.
Those secrets that ultimately lead up to your death.
There are no words to describe the gravity of loss,
in the hearts of your friends,
who felt they were robbed–
off the chance to have seen you once more–
the chance to have told you once more,
that you are loved, and you are enough;
that you will raise children who’re just as much,
that you can speak your mind, with no fear of being judged,
for you are enough, and you are loved.
Please hear me now, from where you may rest,
the world may move on,
but our hearts stay bereft,
of all the colour that you brought,
and all the words you did speak,
and all those that you didn’t,
and all those we didn’t feel.
Maybe there was no greater intent,
in your hanging, or your death as is;
but my eyes are now open,
my ears ring clear,
my heart is bleeding;
yet I cannot express to you–
how deeply I feel.
But I’m sorry, my friend,
that I let you down.
that we drifted apart,
and I wasn’t around.
I’m sorry for all the times we didn’t speak,
I’m sorry for you, and I’m sorry for me.
I will treasure each moment that we had spent,
and remember you fondly for being my friend,
at a time when I didn’t have very many,
you were there for me, and that I will never forget.
I believe in a place where our souls will depart to,
when our stint on this planet does come to a close,
I believe I’ll see you there when I leave too,
till then, be well, my friend.